"The Rise of Skywalker" - review

A breathless and bombastic bore

When JJ Abrams was announced as the writer-director of the first of the new Disney Star Wars sequels, it seemed like a good fit because many of Abrams’ previous films had shown his affection for the great science-fiction blockbusters of the Eighties.  However, once “The Force Awakens” finally premiered, it was revealed that while Abrams had a flair for recreating the aesthetic and tone of the original trilogy, the story was too faithful and the film quickly devolved into a clumsy and obvious retread of Episode IV.  Still, fans hoped that the next entry would provide more detail and clarity by developing and expanding upon the new material in unique ways.

"See that headstone over there?
That's where I'm gonna set up your character for assassination in the next film."

Unfortunately, Rian Johnson’s “The Last Jedi” was a cinematic stink bomb of morbid gloom and glaring contradictions.  Johnson’s approach was certainly original in some ways, but it was mostly in service of ignoring or discarding the little bit of groundwork that “The Force Awakens” had attempted.  In particular, the deconstruction of Luke into a bitter, angry hermit was incendiary and incredibly divisive, and some fans began to wonder if Disney understood Star Wars at all.  If the ultimate goal is to re-invigorate the franchise, why allow its greatest hero to be ground into the dirt?

This was wrong on so many levels.

Disney dragged JJ Abrams back for the final film in the hopes that he might help extinguish some of the flames still burning due to the garbage fire that Rian Johnson left behind.  Was Abrams successful?  If you value ham-fisted nostalgia pandering and hollow spectacle over narrative cohesion and fully developed characters, then the answer is yes.  For those of us who prefer Star Wars to have meaningful, thought-provoking and inspiring content as well as lightsabers and thrilling heroics, then “The Rise of Skywalker” is an abject failure in nearly all respects.

Will he?  Won't he?  I DON'T CARE.  Stop trying to make me.
I never have.

There are a few moments or scenes that do briefly work, but I cannot recall them clearly now because they were completely drowned out by the constant assault of more senseless action sequences of dubious dramatic value.  “The Force Awakens” offered little in the way of new material, and then “The Last Jedi” did its best to dismiss or destroy that material.  Therefore “The Rise of Skywalker” has to start from scratch, resulting in a screenplay that is basically three films collapsed into one.  JJ Abrams and co-writer Chris Terrio are NOT up to this formidable writing task, and boy, does it show! 

One of several huge unintended belly laughs.

Right from the opening crawl there are constant warning alarms going off like a nuclear reactor on the verge of meltdown, which is kind of what the movie is: an overheated plate of nostalgia which has been zapped so many times that it’s catching fire.  Abrams and Terrio try their best, but you cannot expect to successfully bluster your way haphazardly through the final chapter of a trilogy of trilogies!  The manic pacing does nothing to obscure the meandering and preposterous story, and the incessant barrage of visual fireworks burns out whatever ragged threads of coherence may remain.  

This was. . .*sigh*. . .WTF?!

I did not go to see "The Rise of Skywalker" in theaters because by that point I was done.  “The Force Awakens”, “Rogue One” and “The Last Jedi” had all demonstrated to me that Disney does not care about Star Wars, and even worse, they don't understand what makes it work.  The purchase of the franchise now feels solely based on the assumption that Disney would have a license to print money by churning out more Star Wars films as quickly as possible with the least effort.  However, that’s NOT how you properly care for a pop culture phenomenon and now iconic IP.  

An impossible armada and an even more improbable source of POW-AH!

True art cannot be ceaselessly manufactured off an assembly line.  More of something is not necessarily a good thing, and in my limited and heavily biased experience, film sequels are almost always an exercise in quickly diminishing returns.  There are rare exceptions, especially in the adaptations of novels or other print media, but for films which aren’t based upon already existing material, the ratio of creativity to greed becomes more inversely proportional, and Disney’s stewardship of Star Wars has reflected this trend.

Do you hear Sergio Leone?

One glorious exception is “The Mandolorian.”  I was extremely suspicious of everything about this first Star Wars TV show, but I was barely five minutes into the first episode before I fell completely in love.  Part of this is due to the rustic, outlier Western-style setting and vibe of the show, but the crucial ingredient is simplicity.  "The Mandolorian" has a small cast, modest production design and humble adventures, and when compared to the sprawling, convoluted sagas of the Prequels and Sequels, it becomes clear to me that while Star Wars needs to be epic in many ways, its stories should be clean and uncomplicated.

One of the best original character re-visitations.

I had watched all of "The Mandolorian" prior to seeing "The Rise of Skywalker", and the vast difference between the two in terms of narrative complexity was thrown into sharp and shocking contrast.  There is WAY too much happening in "The Rise of Skywalker" and the overstuffed story confounds comprehension with whiplash-inducing pendulum swings between the illogical and the impossible.  Worse still, the narrative is without consequence as several beloved and major characters are ostensibly killed only to be hastily resurrected in the next scene.  This nullifies any sense of tension because despite the relentless action, there is a complete absence of stakes.  No stakes, no drama.

Of course, there is the possibility that Disney may learn a thing or two and modify their approach to production on future Star Wars films, but I am not optimistic that we will see original stories with distinctive characters as long as the franchise continues to make billions with bullshit.  If there is any hope for the future, it is that Jon Favreau and Dave Filoni will be given a film (or trilogy) of their own.  Aside from Genndy Tartakovsky, only Jon and Dave have shown that they understand exactly what Star Wars is and what it needs to be in order to continue to joyfully hyper-space all of us once again to a galaxy far, far away.

"Help us, Favreau and Filoni!  You're our only hope!"